“The process of preparing programs for a digital computer is especially attractive, not only because it can be economically and scientifically rewarding, but also because it can be an aesthetic experience, much like composing poetry or music.” – Donald E. Knuth
“When we are tired, we need to stop and give ourselves time to rest. Sometimes we think we can't spare the time. But without rest, all our activity soon becomes a burden and there is no joy in it. Animals know it is necessary to take time to rest. This is part of the rhythm of life: activity and rest, effort and relaxation.”
“Mental health is a commitment to reality at all times.” – M. Scott Peck
“… and you, Marcus, you have given me many things; now I shall give you this good advice. Be many people. Give up the game of being always Marcus Cocoza. You have worried too much about Marcus Cocoza, so that you have been really his slave and prisoner. You have not done anything without first considering how it would affect Marcus Cocoza’s happiness and prestige. You were always much afraid that Marcus might do a stupid thing, or be bored. What would it really have mattered? All over the world people are doing stupid things. I should like you to be easy, your little heart to be light again. You must from now, be more than one, many people, as many as you can think of …” – “The Dreamers” from “Seven Gothic Tales” by Karen Blixen written under the pseudonym Isak Dinesen
“Our culture emphasizes sophisticated technology and assumes that technology can resolve all problems. Oil spills, cancer, or the ozone layer - whatever the crisis, we do not face the realities, because of our misplaced confidence that someone will come up with a technological breakthrough. Easy solutions have become a way of life in the postindustrial society.”
“Our culture seeks entertainment and escapism rather than searching for meaning. Storytellers in other cultures and in earlier stages of our own told tales that were not only entertaining but also created meaning or imparted skills or history. Most important, as they were told and retold, the stories bonded people to the community. Contemporary storytellers most often seen only to entertain. They create unreal scenarios which have little to do with the lives most of us lead. Movies, television, novels, and magazines that do not provide meaning or bonding contribute to a lack of meaning, which the sociologist Durkheim termed anomie, the state of meaningless that precedes suicide.”
[Mass extinction of frogs at the Sierra Nevada – An excerpt from National Geographic (April 2009) by Jennifer S. Holland]
“It started with the trout.”
“Until the late 19th century, the Sierra Nevada was mostly fishless above the waterfalls. But state policy of fish stocking eventually climbed to the high Sierra to transform those “barren” lakes into a fisherman's paradise. The California Department of Fish and Game began sending trout up the cliffs, first in barrels on muleback, and by the 1950s in the bellies of airplanes. (The planes would fly over the water and let drop their living cargo, much of which missed its mark and was left flopping on dry land.) All told, more than 17,000 mountain lakes were stocked.”
“As it turns out, trout eat tadpoles and young frogs. As trout multiplies, frogs disappeared.”
Is it safe to assume that codependency is triggered through relationship with people who have serious illnesses, behavior problems, or destructive compulsive disorders? Alcoholism in the family helps create codependency, but many other circumstances seems to produce it, also.
One fairly common denominator is having a relationship, personally or professionally, with troubled, needy, or dependent people. But a second, more common denominator seems to be the unwritten, silent rules that usually develop in the immediate family and set the pace for relationships. These rules prohibit discussion about problems; open expression of feelings; direct, honest communication; realistic expectations, such as being human, vulnerable, or imperfect; selfishness; trust in other people and one's self; playing and having fun; and rocking the delicately balanced family canoe through growth or change – however healthy and beneficial that movement might be. These rules are common to alcoholic family systems but can emerge in other families too.
Boundaries let the world know your limits: who you are, what you are comfortable or uncomfortable with and what you are willing to do, accept or take responsibility for. They let people know when, where or under what conditions you are available or willing to do something. Boundaries are primarily for taking care of yourself. They talk about you – what you need in this situation, what you are willing to tolerate – although they can offer a way for you to accommodate someone else's needs as well. Boundaries give people important information they can use in making decisions about how best to relate to you.
Without boundaries, our ways of taking care of ourselves are fairly limited and often destructive. We are more likely to take things personally, get hooked into power struggles and generate resentments. We may become intensely attached to being right, “winning” and getting satisfaction – goals that can take rather hefty toll on relationships.